This is something that I was asked about and I thought I’d jot down my ponderings here and maybe you guys can share your thoughts too!
Now, my first response to this question was a sickly sweet serving of all of the mushy, sentimental reasons you’d expect from a bride-to-be, such as ‘we want to be together forever’ and ‘we want children and to identify as a family unit’ etcetera, etcetera, etcetera! But the obvious counter argument to that is, you can do all of that without getting married and a ‘bit of paper’ isn’t going to keep a couple together. This may be very true and it is most definitely not an effective band-aid to patch things up or to hold a relationship together. Let’s face it, these days a mortgage is harder to get out of than a marriage and divorce rates are steadily soaring. In fact, since 1970 the number of married couples in their 20’s has fallen by 90% and according to new research conducted by the Marriage Foundation, 47% of women and 48% of men aged twenty today will never marry.
Evidently, British culture has changed a lot in recent decades and this includes people’s perception of family and family roles. As such, I’m sure the vast number of divorces/separated parents have deterred many people from making such a commitment. To those, marriage may be perceived to be an archaic tradition, filled with unrealistic expectations of happily ever after. Also, pushing sentimentality aside, weddings are very expensive and many young couples are having to decide between getting married and a putting down a deposit on a house.
So when all of this is said and done, why am I and millions of other people still eagerly volunteering to enter into such an expensive contract, when others consider it null and void? Well, I can’t answer for everyone at the alter but I can tell you why I want to get married and maybe you can join in and tell me what you think!
When I was thinking of the many reasons I wanted to get married, yes many of them mushy, they all followed one theme. Hope. My parents have been married for over 30 years and are a strong team, they look after each other, they laugh together and they are still in love. That’s obviously had a baring on my perception of marriage and what I believe it can/should be like and what I hope mine will be. Of course I accept that marriages don’t always last, but my partner and I aren’t in this relationship with any other view other than we will be together forever. If we didn’t think that or want that, we wouldn’t even be in this relationship never mind getting married.
So I hope that I will have the type of marriage that lives up to what marriage represents. Unity. Two people who go through life as a team, sharing experiences, caring and respecting the other. Marriage demonstrates that united front to others but more importantly to each other.
Ultimately, I’m not getting married for the wedding, I’m getting married for the marriage.
Well those are my thoughts anyway! I’d love to hear yours too so feel free to leave comments and/or use my social media!
Toodle pip xx